Do you offer couple’s counseling?
FCRC does not offer couple counseling when domestic violence is involved. Domestic violence is a behavioral problem and not a relationship problem. In couples counseling, issues may not honestly be discussed because the victim may be afraid to talk. This could reinforce to the abuser that the victim is “the one with the problem” because the victim is not openly dealing with the issues at hand. In addition, the victim may say something that angers the abuser, and then the victim may suffer the consequences (violence) later. FCRC suggests that the abuser receive counseling/treatment to learn alternatives to violence and to accept responsibility for his/her actions.
FCRC has the Abuse Intervention Program which addresses issues specifically geared toward perpetrators of domestic violence. The program offers 12 weeks of group counseling. The victim can receive individual or group counseling at FCRC to learn more about the Cycle of Violence and to become more educated about safety issues. Also, the victim can become empowered to learn not to accept violence in his/her life.
FCRC recommends that each person (victim and perpetrator) receive intervention separately to ensure that all concerns or issues are freely addressed.
Will he change?
Patterns of behavior are very difficult to change, but if an abuser is sincere, services are available to help him/her break the cycle of abuse and learn non-threatening and respectful ways to interact. Many abusers will refuse to seek services and their behaviors may appear to improve temporarily to keep from losing a partner or to keep from going to jail, etc., but after the immediate threat of loss has past, the abuser may return to abusive patterns of behavior.
Should I leave him?
No one can answer this question for you; ultimately the decision is yours. But, there are some points to look at that can help you decide.
- Ask yourself what you have to gain from staying. Does this outweigh your need (and your child(ren’s) need) for safety and what can you lose by staying?
- Remember that you can’t change him. He has to take responsibility and put in a lot of hard work to make those changes.
- Know that you do have options. FCRC can help you learn about those options—regardless of whether you choose to stay or leave. You may have been told, and you may believe, that there is no place for you to go to find housing or a job. This is not true—there is support and other alternatives to an abusive relationship.
How will I know if my partner has changed?
True lasting behavioral change takes time and commitment. Abusers cannot change overnight. Abusive behavior is a pattern of behavior that, by its very nature, is deeply entrenched, set by repetition, and often a part of a generational family system. There is hope if the abusive person recognizes their pattern of behavior that is designed to control and dominate the other person and makes a commitment to break it with professional intervention. FCRC offers this type of service through the Abuse Intervention Program with groups for both men and women who abuse. Trained staff lead a 24-week program with the goal of helping the individual learn to lead a non-violent life and make a better life for themselves and their family.
Where can I get information about staying safe?
If you’re being abused, the most important course of action is to plan for your and your child(ren)’s safety. For assistance with safety planning and support through the legal process, speak with our Legal Advocate. We can provide you with information, referrals, crisis intervention, counseling, and emotional support.
Who should I contact if my partner is still abusing me?
If your partner is still abusing you, call 9-1-1 as soon as possible. Let them know what happened. You can ask them for an incident report number while they are on the scene. If the police do not file charges, you can go to the Commissioner’s Office in the District Court and ask that criminal charges be filed. You may also file for a protective order if there is not one in place. This is done at the District or Circuit Courts during regular hours.
What is a protective order?
A protective order is a civil, legal order issued by a District or Circuit Court Judge and can be granted for up to one year. The person who files the paperwork is the petitioner. The alleged abuser would be the respondent. The Judge can order the respondent to stay away and refrain from the further abuse.
Where can I apply for a protective order?
You can file for a protective order, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. During business hours, you may walk-in and file for a civil protective order at the District or Circuit Court Clerk’s Office. When the court offices are closed, you have the right to file a petition for an interim protective order with the on-duty or on-call Commissioner—they are open after hours and on weekends.
*This is legal information only and is not a substitute for Legal Advice. For Legal Advice on your specific situation, you should consult with an attorney.
What help can FCRC give me or others who have been victims of domestic violence, rape or sexual assault/abuse?
FCRC respects each individual’s pace in the process of recovery. Guidance and support are given, but the abused person makes their own decisions. Counseling is not to rescue the victim from the abusive relationship, but instead to help a person reach a point of strength—where they can decide what they need to do for themselves, while FCRC supports their effort to live violence free. Programs are available even if the abused person is still living with the abuser or if a decision is made to return to the abuser.
How can I volunteer?
Application Process
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